Realising that your elderly relative can no longer care for themselves is a difficult time for all involved. Sometimes the realisation creeps up on you gradually – the house seems less tidy, your loved one has stopped participating in hobbies, food in the cupboards is sparse or out of date. Sometimes you have caring duties thrust upon you – your mother has a fall and will need help getting dressed when she gets home from hospital or your father has a stroke leaving him in a wheelchair.
For many families the obvious solution might be to bring the relative to live with them. A spare room can be cleared out, the bathroom can be converted to make it more accessible and you will be on hand day and night to provide the care required.
Home Sweet Home
A study by a non-profit organisation found that many families haven’t considered the options for later life care and are unaware of what their loved ones actually want. Most of the respondents in the survey (97%) were clear that they did not want to move into a residential home – and for many of them it’s the moving that they wish to avoid.
Older people can find it difficult to process change – especially if they are suffering from dementia or have brain damage following a stroke. Moving from a familiar environment to a new one – even if it’s your home that they’ve visited previously – can cause a worsening of their symptoms and may even provoke a crisis.
Too Much Of A Good Thing?
Caring for a close relative can be emotionally draining. If you are caring for your parents you are essentially turning the parent-child relationship upside down. Where once they tucked you in at night and helped you zip up your coat now you’re the one doing the tucking in and zipping up.
You may begin to feel resentful that you are having to care for them. You may feel you’ve had to put your life on hold. You may feel angry that your loved one has lost their ability to care for themselves or that you are no longer free to live your life the way you want to. And it’s perfectly natural to feel guilty for having these feelings.
Spending long periods as your elderly relative’s carer could be bad for your health – both physical and mental – and that can have serious implications for the quality of care you can provide.
Is there an alternative?
Of course you could choose to place your relative in a care home regardless of their wishes. Or you could investigate live-in home care. Someone who can provide the care and companionship your loved one needs, in the comfort of their own home. Providing just the right level of care to maintain their independence and give you and your loved one the space to run your own lives. Because sometimes a relationship works better at a distance.
Realising that your elderly relative can no longer care for themselves is a difficult time for all involved. Sometimes the realisation creeps up on you gradually – the house seems less tidy, your loved one has stopped participating in hobbies, food in the cupboards is sparse or out of date. Sometimes you have caring duties thrust upon you – your mother has a fall and will need help getting dressed when she gets home from hospital or your father has a stroke leaving him in a wheelchair.
For many families the obvious solution might be to bring the relative to live with them. A spare room can be cleared out, the bathroom can be converted to make it more accessible and you will be on hand day and night to provide the care required.
Home Sweet Home
A study by a non-profit organisation found that many families haven’t considered the options for later life care and are unaware of what their loved ones actually want. Most of the respondents in the survey (97%) were clear that they did not want to move into a residential home – and for many of them it’s the moving that they wish to avoid.
Older people can find it difficult to process change – especially if they are suffering from dementia or have brain damage following a stroke. Moving from a familiar environment to a new one – even if it’s your home that they’ve visited previously – can cause a worsening of their symptoms and may even provoke a crisis.
Too Much Of A Good Thing?
Caring for a close relative can be emotionally draining. If you are caring for your parents you are essentially turning the parent-child relationship upside down. Where once they tucked you in at night and helped you zip up your coat now you’re the one doing the tucking in and zipping up.
Realising that your elderly relative can no longer care for themselves is a difficult time for all involved. Sometimes the realisation creeps up on you gradually – the house seems less tidy, your loved one has stopped participating in hobbies, food in the cupboards is sparse or out of date. Sometimes you have caring duties thrust upon you – your mother has a fall and will need help getting dressed when she gets home from hospital or your father has a stroke leaving him in a wheelchair.
For many families the obvious solution might be to bring the relative to live with them. A spare room can be cleared out, the bathroom can be converted to make it more accessible and you will be on hand day and night to provide the care required.
A study by the Live-in Care Hubfound that many families haven’t considered the options for later life care and are unaware of what their loved ones actually want. Most of the respondents in the survey (97%) were clear that they did not want to move into a residential home – and for many of them it’s the moving that they wish to avoid.
Older people can find it difficult to process change – especially if they are suffering from dementia or have brain damage following a stroke. Moving from a familiar environment to a new one – even if it’s your home that they’ve visited previously – can cause a worsening of their symptoms and may even provoke a crisis.
Caring for a close relative can be emotionally draining. If you are caring for your parents you are essentially turning the parent-child relationship upside down. Where once they tucked you in at night and helped you zip up your coat now you’re the one doing the tucking in and zipping up.
You may begin to feel resentful that you are having to care for them. You may feel you’ve had to put your life on hold. You may feel angry that your loved one has lost their ability to care for themselves or that you are no longer free to live your life the way you want to. And it’s perfectly natural to feel guilty for having these feelings.
Spending long periods as your elderly relative’s carer could be bad for your health – both physical and mental – and that can have serious implications for the quality of care you can provide.
