What do we think of when we think of caring for an elderly relative? Doing some shopping for them alongside our own? Taking them to hospital appointments? Bolting the front door so they can’t wander off in the night? Changing an adult nappy?
Most families don’t actually realise quite how hard it is to care for an older person, especially if they have conditions such as Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, heart disease or diabetes that limit their lifestyle. Deciding to take on the care of your elderly relative yourself, or even finding that you’ve gradually slipped into caring for them over time, can have you learning on the job for a job you never really wanted in the first place.
“Mum doesn’t want to go into a home...”
Of course she doesn’t. And neither do 97% of the population, as research by a non-profit organisation showed recently. It’s not just the cost of residential care that needs to be considered – it’s the environment that she will be moving into. Whilst there are obviously good homes and bad ones a whopping 15.2% of nursing home residents say they have no control over their daily life, with a third never leaving the home.
“… but I can’t carry on like this”
Being a carer is hard-work and if you find yourself suddenly caring for an elderly relative you can feel angry that you’re having to put your life on hold to provide for them. This is quickly followed by feelings of guilt for being angry – shouldn’t you wantto care for your mother or father? Isn’t that what families do?
It’s perfectly normal to resent being a carer or to “mourn” for the life you would have had if your loved one didn’t need such intense care. But you shouldn’t let your relative’s refusal to move into a home destroy you – there are other alternatives.
Day Centres
Many local authorities, some care homes, churches and older people’s charities run day centres where your relative can spend time in a warm, safe environment, giving you the chance to get some time to yourself – for example to go to your own appointments or just to get a quiet cup of tea with your feet up!
Home Help
If your relative just needs a little assistance with daily care needs you can arrange for a daily carer or home help to come in and assist with dressing/undressing, bathing, toileting and other personal care needs.
Live-in Care
A real alternative to residential care, and not as pricey as you might expect, is a live-in carer. They will typically take over running the household and providing personal care. The service is flexible and will provide precisely tailored care based on an assessment of your family’s needs. Live-in care can provide a permanent solution, with two or three carers working on a rota to provide 24/7 cover or simply to provide you with respite from your daily chores.
What do we think of when we think of caring for an elderly relative? Doing some shopping for them alongside our own? Taking them to hospital appointments? Bolting the front door so they can’t wander off in the night? Changing an adult nappy?
Most families don’t actually realise quite how hard it is to care for an older person, especially if they have conditions such as Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, heart disease or diabetes that limit their lifestyle. Deciding to take on the care of your elderly relative yourself, or even finding that you’ve gradually slipped into caring for them over time, can have you learning on the job for a job you never really wanted in the first place.
“Mum doesn’t want to go into a home...”
Of course she doesn’t. And neither do 97% of the population, as research by a non-profit organisation showed recently. It’s not just the cost of residential care that needs to be considered – it’s the environment that she will be moving into. Whilst there are obviously good homes and bad ones a whopping 15.2% of nursing home residents say they have no control over their daily life, with a third never leaving the home.
“… but I can’t carry on like this”
What do we think of when we think of caring for an elderly relative? Doing some shopping for them alongside our own? Taking them to hospital appointments? Bolting the front door so they can’t wander off in the night? Changing an adult nappy?
Most families don’t actually realise quite how hard it is to care for an older person, especially if they have conditions such as Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, heart disease or diabetes that limit their lifestyle. Deciding to take on the care of your elderly relative yourself, or even finding that you’ve gradually slipped into caring for them over time, can have you learning on the job for a job you never really wanted in the first place.
Of course she doesn’t. And neither do 97% of the population, as research by the Live-in Care Hub showed recently. It’s not just the cost of residential care that needs to be considered – it’s the environment that she will be moving into. Whilst there are obviously good homes and bad ones a whopping 15.2% of nursing home residents say they have no control over their daily life, with a third never leaving the home.
Being a carer is hard-work and if you find yourself suddenly caring for an elderly relative you can feel angry that you’re having to put your life on hold to provide for them. This is quickly followed by feelings of guilt for being angry – shouldn’t you wantto care for your mother or father? Isn’t that what families do?
It’s perfectly normal to resent being a carer or to “mourn” for the life you would have had if your loved one didn’t need such intense care. But you shouldn’t let your relative’s refusal to move into a home destroy you – there are other alternatives.
Many local authorities, some care homes, churches and older people’s charities run day centres where your relative can spend time in a warm, safe environment, giving you the chance to get some time to yourself – for example to go to your own appointments or just to get a quiet cup of tea with your feet up!
If your relative just needs a little assistance with daily care needs you can arrange for a daily carer or home help to come in and assist with dressing/undressing, bathing, toileting and other personal care needs.
A real alternative to residential care, and not as pricey as you might expect, is a live-in carer. They will typically take over running the household and providing personal care. The service is flexible and will provide precisely tailored care based on an assessment of your family’s needs. Live-in care can provide a permanent solution, with two or three carers working on a rota to provide 24/7 cover or simply to provide you with respite from your daily chores.
